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Sunday, April 19, 2020

Funny Whatsapp Jokes English 2020

Funny Whatsapp Jokes English 2020. Hello here is some collection of the best funny WhatsApp jokes in English 2020, that makes you laugh to share with your friends on WhatsApp and another messaging app.


8 Funny things about India’s famous Baba All Indian Baba know Police  Once upon a Time, a Baba slept with Nude Underage Girls😁😂😅😆😋😀

Girl – Hello brother, please give this medicine 
brother medical – take this
Girl – Give me sugar, 
brothers medical – Madam Ji, does not get sugar their 
girl – Don’t make fool me, written clearly on this medicine “Sugar-Free😁😂😅😆😋😀
Funny Whatsapp Jokes English 2020
Image Source - Google | Image By - PXhere


A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, “Ugh! That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”The woman stalks off to the rear of the bus and sits down. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, “The driver just insulted me!”The man says, “You go and give him a telling off. I’ll hold your monkey for you.


Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
A: An envelope.


A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers’ attention, he is yelling, “Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!” A pastor hears this and asks, “Why are you calling them ‘dam fish.'” The boy responds, “Because I caught these fish at the local dam.” The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, “I didn’t know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way.” He explains to her why they are dammed fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, “That’s the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!”😁😂😅😆😋 


Girl’s father – the Son, drinking alcohol…? 

Chappu – I’ll drink it later, Order a cold drink nowIt is a very hot day… Wedding cancel!!


Anna: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant’s milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.

Ben: That’s impossible. Whose baby?Anna: An elephant’s.😁😂😅😆😋😀

Funny Whatsapp Jokes English 2020
Funny Whatsapp Jokes English 2020
A day will come…When the whole world will CELEBRATE: YOUR NAME YOUR FAME YOUR PERSONALITY YOUR THOUGHTS YOUR VIEWSBut keep in mind,April Fool comes once a year. Congratulations!😁😂😅😆😋😀

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine. Officer: You were speeding.Man: No, I wasn’t.Officer: Yes, you were. I’m giving you a ticket. Man: But I wasn’t speeding.Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?Officer: Yes, you would.Man: What if I just thought that you were?Officer: I can’t give you a ticket for what you think. Man: Fine, I think you’re a jerk!😁😂😅😆😋😀


If someone calls you “Ugly” have a good comeback and say Excuse Me… I am not a ~Mirror…!!


My girlfriend’s birthday is in two days. And she told me “Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring”.So I bought her anything!😁😂😅😆😋😀 


Teacher – Why did you laugh…?

Boy first – I saw a strap of your bra Mam…

Teacher – You are punished to stay out of school for one week.Boy Second laughed…

Teacher – Why did you laugh…?

Boy Second – I saw your bra straps also…Teacher – You are punished to stay out of school for one month. The teacher bent down to pickup a book. Boy third started walking out of the class…

Teacher – Why are you leaving…?

Boy Third – I think my school days are over…😁😂😅😆😋😀

Funny Whatsapp Jokes English 2020
Funny Whatsapp Jokes English 2020

Once all the engineering professors were sitting in one place. Before the takeoff, one announcement came“This plane is made by your students” Then all the professors stood up, ran, and went outside. But the principal was sitting. One guy came and asked, “are you not afraid”?Then the principal replied, “I trust my students very well and I am sure the plane won’t even start”.😁😂😅😆😋😀

It Is = Sit in the exam hall room, hold in the “question paper” in your hand and telling your self…Dear, don’t worry….Exams will get postponed…!!😁😂😅😆😋😀

A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”The bartender looks confused but gives him another beer.This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, “When are you going to pay for these beers?”The man answers, “Now the problems start!”😁😂😅😆😋😀

Doctor = Have you ever “fainted” before…? Patient = Yes, the last time you told me your “fees“…!!!!😁😂😅😆😋😀

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ‘Amal.’ The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan’. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ”But they are twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.

Man:- Dear, your father is a ‘doctor’still, you are ill…
Me:- Stupid man, your father is ‘salesman of condom, still, you are in this world…😁😂😅😆😋😀
 
Funny Whatsapp Jokes English 2020
Funny Whatsapp Jokes English 2020

The husband and wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant…As the food was served, 
Husband said: “The Food looks delicious, let’s eat.”Wife: Honey.. You say a prayer before eating at home. 
Husband: That’s at home sweetheart… Here the chef knows how to cook. 

Wife -:- How am I looking at you…? 
Husband -:- So beautiful…Wife -:- Do you want to give me any comment…? 
Husband -:- You are looking so ‘pretty girl’ but it takes all my ‘Salary’😁😂😅😆😋😀


Wife: Today, I want to relax, so I have brought three movie tickets.Husband: why three tickets?Wife: you and your parents.


Boy -::- I fall in love in only love with a cute & beautiful Girl!! Girl -::- Great!! Who is she…? 
Boy -::- She is your ‘shadow’… and looks a little bit like you….
Girl -::- Aww…!! Is it me…? 
Boy -::- No No, Your little sister…😁😂😅😆😋😀


Funny Whatsapp Jokes English 2020

The Perfect Son.A: I have the perfect son.B: Does he smoke?A: No, he doesn’t.B: Does he drink whiskey?A: No, he doesn’t.B: Does he ever come home late?A: No, he doesn’t.B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Successful marriage life is based on “Give & Take” Where the husband gives ‘money’‘dresses’, ‘gifts’ &#wife takes it…And Where wife gives ‘Advice’‘tensions’‘lecturer’ &#husband takes it…😁😂😅😆😋😀

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.Boy: What are the two things?Girl: Your feet.

Roses are ‘red’. Your “blood” is too. You look like a #monkey And belong in a ‘zoo’.Do not worry, I will be there too. Not in the cage, But “laughing”   at you.😁😂😅😆😋😀



Funny Whatsapp Jokes English 2020

Funny Whatsapp Jokes English 2020

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee – OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you – you’ve broken your finger!

A family of mice was surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and said, “Bow-wow!” The cat ran away. “What was that Father?” asked Baby Mouse. “Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.”😁😂😅😆😋😀

Principal = If any boy is found in or around #girl’s hostel, he will be fined Rs ‘250’ for the first time, Rs ‘550’ for the second time& Rs ‘1000’ for the third time.… 
Student = How much will you ~charge for “monthly pass“, sir…?

Husband sent a text to his wife at night, “Hi I will get late, plz try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.”He sent another text, “I forgot to tell u that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month I’m getting u a new car” She text back, “Omg really?”Husband Replied: “No I just wanted to make sure u got my 1st msg.😁😂😅😆😋😀

A New ~Born “Baby” Ask To ~Nurse:- Can I Use Your “Mobile Phone“…?Nurse = Why…? Baby = Actually, I Want To Tell The “God” I Am Land ~Safely To The “Earth“, Now Arrange A “Girlfriend” For Me And Don’t ~Forget To “SMS” Me Her ‘Address’

The husband brings the child home from kindergarten and asks his wife, “He’s been crying the whole way home. Isn’t he sick or something?” “No,” replies the wife, “he was just trying to tell you he isn’t our son John”😁😂😅😆😋😀

When Someone ‘Touches’ YouAnd You Don’t ~Feel It, It's “Ignorance” When Someone ‘Touches’ YouAnd You ~Feel It, It's “Love” When Nobody ‘Touches’ YouBut You ~Feel It, Its “Khujli”😁😂😅😆😋😀

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